Civic Involvement Series - VI. Non-Violent Communication

Hello my dear readers,

With this blog, we have come to the end of this blog series that we have been continuing for a long time. In fact, the subject we will talk about today is a topic that should be included in all areas of our lives, including all the topics in my other blogs. Our topic today is nonviolent communication.

"What is communication?" and "What is violence?" I think we all know the answers to your questions. So what is nonviolent communication, do we know? or Are we aware of the existence of such a thing? or Do we ever meet in our daily life? If non-violent communication comes to your mind only communication that does not contain physical violence, you are wrong. Though it is not said that physical violence communicates, but whatever. Nonviolent communication is actually based on the opinion of Marshal Rosenberg, one of the founders of the Center of Nonviolent Communication (CNVC). According to Marshal Rosenberg, nonviolent communication has been defined as “the natural state of compassion in which there is no violence in our hearts.” The expression "natural state of affection" here actually indicates that human violence is a behavior learned later by environmental means. I thought about it for a long time after learning Plato's “People have an instinct to do evil.” But according to the Nonviolent communication view, this is absolutely wrong.

So, have you ever thought what are the basic structures for nonviolent communication to occur? When I asked this question myself, it took me a while to find the correct answer. Marshal Rosenberg states that nonviolent communication can only be possible if the communicating parties act according to the interests of the other party. The subject that we call the attention of the other party actually tells us that we should empathize. When I learned this answer, I thought that why not nonviolent communication might be based on sympathy or respect. In fact, I realized that empathy is a very broad concept that encompasses all essential qualities such as effective listening and non-judgment, including respect.

There are some areas where Nonviolent Communication is used. However, I want to talk to you about the way we all need to use mediation. What do you think is the most difficult place for people to communicate without violence? I can hear you say during the conflict. Therefore, mediators can try to solve the problem through nonviolent communication that was missing during the conflict. Communicating without violence during conflict can be harder than usual. For these situations, the view of Nonviolent Transmission gives us some clues for the mediators. As we all know, some of the conflicts have to determine our own needs and the needs of the other. First of all, the needs of both parties should be determined well and it should be clear on this matter. These needs must be repeated and confirmed. Then, considering these needs, we need to find the common denominator in which the needs of both sides will be met. It is very important to use positive action language in this process. To bring the solution to a problem some questions should be asked such as "Are you willing to do ...?"

I want to say a few words while coming to the end of my blog. Nonviolent communication is essentially the basis of everything. If we can communicate through nonviolent communication, I have an infinite belief that we will come to better locals, both socially and academically. Finally, I want to end with a quote from CNVC founder Marshall Rosenberg: "A process in which needs are not fully clarified and not based on mutual respect and consideration will ultimately lead to an unsuccessful strategy and conflict again."

See you in the other blog series, goodbye

Sena Ölçer